Written by Nogger
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Thursday, 3 June 2010

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Veteran US actor Mickey Rooney has been sensationally forced to rule himself out of contention for the American squad for this summer's World Cup in South Africa.

Rooney, 89, pulled up heavily in training clutching his metatarsal after an accidental clash with US and Everton goalkeeper Tim Howard.

"Get up, I didn't touch you, you f***ing dwarf," said an apologetic Howard afterwards, struggling to control his tourettes.

"I'm bitterly disappointed," whined Rooney.

This summer's World Cup tournament was seen by many as his sporting swansong, after a career that has been blighted by injury and bad luck. Who can forget the cruel way in which he was desperately unlucky to lose the ride on Grand National winner "The Pie" back in 1944 to a twelve year old schoolgirl?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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