Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for English soccer "WAGS" arrive in South Africa and protest because there are no luxury boutiques in Rustenburg, shock, horror!
No sexy 'Wags" bums are welcome in the England camp, just dried elephant dung, mud and footballs!

English soccer 'Wags" (wives and girlfriends) renowned for their ability to spend, spend and spend even more have arrived in Rustenburg, South Africa and are completely devastated.

No Gucci's, Cartiers, Dolce Cabana's luxury boutiques, etc, just piles of dried elephants dung, mud, a training ground, barren landscape and their hubbies locked away like Franciscan Monks.

Immediately a spokeswoman (who shall remain nameless but her surname starts with R and ends with Y and speaks a strange tongue) threw her designer $7000,00 dollar handbag at Senori Capello and screamed; "what the fuck should we do here, watch the lions copulate!"

English Wags are the most spoilt and pampered on the planet and demand "everything" including sex, luxury and mega attention from the tabloids, naturally!

Another, not quite so spoilt "Wag" (who shall remain nameless but her surname begins with T and ends with Y) defended the choice of the location and gave the following statement;

"I'm happy for my hubby to be stuck out here in the jungle where there's only wildlife, ugly servants and no sex-crazy 'bimbos' to lead him astray!"

Capello meanwhile ignored the "wags" demands and got down to the serious business of renewing his contract with the FA and informing his offshore bank about a sudden increase in cash flow!

More from Jaggedone's intrepid CIA (cockroach infiltration army) as the World Cup progresses, his bloodthirsty six-legged reporters are everywhere!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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