Written by Mark Percival
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Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for FIFA Scores Own Goal with Sponsorships
Budweiser 'Cereal' Beer

Campaigners believe that FIFA has scored an own goal by signing up sponsors that sell unhealthy products; they believe FIFA should have gone with sponsors who promote a healthier lifestyle.

Coca Cola, McDonald's and Budweiser are partners or official sponsors for the World Cup. This reporter visited each of the company's press offices to hear their side of the story.

Coca Cola has pointed out that two of the top teams (who wish to remain anonymous) use 2 litre bottles of Coke as dumbbells, in their gyms. Further, they have also stated that not only is Coca Cola akin to well water but it is also good for cleaning football boots.

The McDonald's press office was a Flurry of activity, and their representative - Mr Big Mack, invited us in. He was quick to point out that their burgers were so heavy in fat that people were effectively getting a 'mini workout' with each purchase due to the extra weight involved in lifting it to their mouths. He also highlighted the fact that their Restaurants ware open at times when local Gyms are closed - thus giving people the opportunity of a 'mini workout' at more flexible times.

Budweiser were also keen to pick up on this - high-lighting a study that showed that football supporters throwing glass Budweiser bottles from the terraces onto the pitch burnt on average 30 calories per launch. In addition, as their need to urinate was greatly enhanced, this effectively acted as a Detox - with the fluids carrying natural toxins out of the body. The latest Budweiser campaign is based around their ingredients being similar to a healthy cereal bar - with the beer being made from upto 30% Rice in addition to Hops and Barley Malt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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