Written by Morse
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Thursday, 27 May 2010

image for Erin Andrews Back in Time for World Cup: Promises Sex Laden Half Time Dance Exhibition with Co-Host Skoob on Platform Bed!
Skoob Flips Out During Rehearsals with Erin before World Cup Exhibition!

ESPN Sports Host and Dancing with the Stars Finalist Erin Andrews says she's fitter than ever, and ready to take on the challenge of side line interviews at the World Cup in South Africa starting next month.

There will be 9 host cities, and almost 3m tickets are available, although promoters said most fans will be left living under bridges as there's just not enough to go around which could lead to bloody tribal warfare.

Erin says she's not worried and is better prepared to face large crowds now that everyone has already seen her naked, at least once.

"I'm in better shape now then when that creepy perp filmed me through the key hole and put me in my birthday suit on line," the sexy performer said.

"My thighs are tighter, my calves look really toned, especially in my 8" spiky heels, my abs really stand out, and I learned to make by boobs look bigger than they are by standing up straighter and sticking my chest out!"

The World Cup coverage by ESPN, shown at 3 a.m. Colony Time, was struggling due to lack of sponsorship in the US due to basic indifference by the sporting public until the announcement that Erin would be back.

"My fan base has really picked up since I appeared almost naked on Dancing with the Stars, and there's been a huge following of my free style dance with my great partner Maksim Chmerkouskiy where we took turns throwing each other on the bed and simulated Sex Acts!"

ESPN said that plans to have a reprise of that routine has been re-choreographed by Elton John, and Erin and co-host Skoob will perform the new routine at half time in at the cup site in Rustenburg to accommodate their fans from Amsterdam.

The 5'10" Andrews will reverse roles and will be the aggressor toward the 4'11" Manchester Mope, and said "Bouncing him off the bed a few times will be fun...he's a cute little guy....and a hell of a sport...we usually shower together after a gig and he's a perfect gentlemen, always first to pick up the soap in the shower!"

Contacted by a Spoof Reporter, Mrs. Skoob said she has some doubts on how the routine will go. "I've bounced the little bugger off the bed more than a few times....he's a resilient little BASTARD, I'll give 'em that....and he can be feisty....last time I bounced him, he hit his face on the bedpost, and broke his thumb...we'll just have to see how it goes! It could be another Stitch Up!"

Skoob has been quoted as saying he thinks he'll get through the routine with a minimum of stress and harm. "I've already arranged for me corner men, Monkey Woods is me manager, Fergus will he'll handling cuts, and Lynton will be negotiating me contract and CJ's got me Stella....Queen Mudder already has the papers done in case it becomes necessary to SUE...Not only am I a CONTENDER, I'll wind up after this big arse mess a big WINNER!"

A Few Side Line Notes:

  • Group C consists of England, the US, Algeria, and Slovenia.
  • Forty Million Condums have been budgeted for the games.
  • Next to Washington D.C., The African Continent leads the world in AIDS
  • Ashley and Cheryl Cole will NOT be sitting together
  • Due to failing popularity after BREAST REDUCTION, Posh says she'll be 'back in her cups" in time for the showdown on the pitch.
  • Nick Clegg says he'll root for England, "but my heart's with France"
  • The BBC will be broadcasting from a new $100M 'bomb proof' shelter
  • Sean Penn has been announced as honorary captain of Venezuelan Team
  • EU Council of Ministers demands 50,000 tickets for homeless people as part of "Human Right to Vacations" Mandate to be paid by UK, US and Germany
  • UN Security Council selects Referees from N. Korea, Syria, Iran, Venezuela,
    Afganistan, Yemen, Lybia, Mexico, Jamaica & Scotland to assure impartiality
  • Sarah Ferguson says she'll introduce Kim Il Jong to "anyone for $50!"
  • Nicholas Sarkozy and Tom Cruise both claim to be "bigger" than Skoob.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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