Written by IainB
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Monday, 24 May 2010

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Battered and Deep Fried is the True Taste of Scotland

After the shock parting of the ways between Tennants and the Scottish FA, the Scottish footballing body has acted quickly to fill the gap.

The Scottish based drinks company has made the decision after David Tennant left the popular BBC drama, Doctor Who, but claims that it is completely unrelated. Instead, they cite differences of opinion on how the Tennants logo should be displayed, and are fed up with the constant rivalry between the two Glasgow teams: Celtic and Rangers meaning that neither sides' fans will buy the beer because it is displayed on their fiercest rivals shirts. During the acrimonious talks, Tennants have pulled completely out of all Scottish Football advertising.

The Scottish FA initially approached several of the whisky distillers, however, with moves afoot to stop all sports advertising by alcoholic drink manufacturers, none of the whisky distillers were willing to make a speculative endorsement of Scottish football.

Iron Brew were also approached, being Scotland's other famous drink based export, but they have suffered in recent years with a downturn in product sales, and could not justify a two million pound price tag.

Running out of options, an emergency general meeting in Edinburgh tried to find other Scottish industries that were not drink related. Kilts, Edinburgh Rock, heather and tourism were all discounted as having insufficient money, leaving only one real Scottish flavoured item.

"We're proud to announce the new sponsor for the Scottish FA," said Scott McScottish. "It will be Mars, the confectionery company."

Mars have insisted that the strap line "Battered and Deep Fried is the True Taste of Scotland" along with the product name.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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