Written by Matt Richards
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Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for Artest's Strength: Dog-Like Obedience

In a recent interview, Lakers' coach Phil Jackson described forward Ron Artest's greatest strength as a "dog-like obedience."

Jackson then went on to say, "not all dogs are trained well, some just behave irrationally."

He referred to the troubled star player as a a dog on a long leash held by Kobe Bryant. "Kobe's just awesome, you know?"

All the while, Bryant stood in the shadows monitoring his coach with Artest not yet out of his cage.

Then Jackson called out Artest to his face, though Artest was unaware of this due to his inability to comprehend the English language. Bryant, with his hand held up to Jackson, looked down at Artest and ordered him to "sit."

The former Indiana Pacer proceeded to sit in a cross-legged fashion.

There was a brief moment of panic when Artest revealed a firearm after Bryant encouraged him to "play dead."

Coach Jackson tossed a tennis ball down the hall to solve the issue.

Said Jackson, "Sometimes when you're dealing with a bunch of dogs, it's best to keep their eyes off the prize."

Bryant went on to order his coach to "fetch the championship."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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