Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: Darts, Acupuncture

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for British Darts Champion to Open Acupuncture Clinic
Bulls Eye for Dudley Wang

2009 World Dart Champion, Dudley Wang, has announced the planned opening of a new-age acupuncture clinic in London's North-End, this late summer.

A product of both proper British breeding as well as Eastern science and philosophy, Dudley Wang is the son of Amelia Racine Windsor, from the royal Windsor line, and Chang Jun "Jimmy" Wang, noted Doctor of Acupuncture, originally from Hong Kong. While Dudley was heavily influenced by the ways of his father, it was his mother's love of British pubs and darts in particular, than won him fame as a young man.

Though Dudley did modestly well on the junior dart championship tours, it was the blend of acupuncture before his matches as an adult, and endless practice before a competition, that led him to world acclaim. Now with secrets from his father revealed, Wang will use both sets of skills to aid his patients.

"His technique is a little odd", says early patient, Anita Hardonne. "but one small prick in the right place and I felt worlds better". One male patient with chronic back pain echoed that sentiment. "He made me stand 173 centimeters away for a moment and drove a single bull into the center of my forehead. That was it, no more back pain", says Stuart Piddash. "Call me Stu. I did develop a nagging headache however".

With a growing number of satisfied patients, Wang may never go back to dart competition. "The money is better with acupuncture", says Wang, "even though the visits are economical for my patients." Wang refers to most patient treatments only requiring a single dart to cure whatever ails them. "My father taught me well", says Wang.

"I've gotten used to the headaches now", says Piddash, but it would be good to wear a hat again some day".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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