Written by KendoMonkey
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Saturday, 21 June 2003

England's footballing child-wonderstar, Wayne Rooney, has been cautioned after giving Sven Goran Eriksson a pounding headache. The injury was bestowed on Eriksson by Rooney's insistence in playing his heavy-metal records (by a band called Selection), far too loud during training.

"Eriksonn's got this big migraine type thing going off, now. Poor git. I don't think he'd have minded if it was Steps or something, but this is like acid-metal or something. We're talking crazy loud!"

Eriksonn is said to be naming his squad this weekend for the Euro 2004 tournament and is said to be retaining Emile Heskey in every position pitch position.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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