Written by Earl Grey
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Friday, 7 May 2010

image for Liverpool Sign World's Oldest Player
Not only is Dellin 74, but he's a transvestite too!

Following their signing of a dead Croatian footballer, Liverpool have now completed the signing of the oldest footballer in the world. Frank Dellin, 74, has signed for the Reds from non-league Woodbury FC. The transfer fee is thought to be £30, a new Exmouth Sunday League record.

Dellin said "I didn't have a clue what was happening. My disciplinary record has held me back in the past. I've been banned from most clubs in Exmouth. However, Mr Benitez says that he is backing me, and that's what counts."

Many see the two recent signings as highlighting the plight of a once great football club. No title in twenty years, no trophy in four. Liverpool FC are in decline. Can a dead Croatian and an English pensioner really save them?

Rafa Benitez's comments suggest the signing of Dellin was a mistake. The Liverpool boss told journalists that he had signed a striker who had scored a hat trick in Germany. He has actually signed a striker who is a geriatric.

The future for Liverpool does not look good. Already season ticket holders have been considering spending their giro money on something more worthwhile. Sales of Peter Andre cds are said to be quite high in the city.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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