Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for Tea Baggers Defeat Cleveland Steamers in Grudge Match
The Steamers receive their Tea Bagging like men, but endure the press photo op.

The long anticipated rematch between the former Dwarf Tossing champions, the Cleveland Steamers, and runners up last year, The Tea Baggers, yielded a new champion. The Tea Baggers won this year's event by a single Dwarf bull's eye in the 10th end of competition.

While both teams maintain strong U.S. political party ties and vehemently oppose each other's views, both teams shook hands after the competition in grand gesture. "We're all good sports in the end", says Bagger team captain, Harry Bawlcheeze. "Though we still need to finalize the championship ceremony and pay them back a bit for last year".

The World Wide Dwarf Tossing Federation rules do stipulate that along with the transfer of the championship trophy, the losing team must be on the receiving end of a disgusting act, usually associated with the name of the team that wins. "Last year the Steamers did a pretty good job dropping turd on our chests, but it was after a night of beer and bratwurst." Says Bawlcheeze. "This year it's payback time."

Honoring the WWDTF rules, the losing Cleveland Steamers took position on the floor while the Tea Baggers dropped sweaty nutsacks on their faces. The "coup de grace" was delivered with flatulence most closely resembling the odor of a rotting elephant carcass.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you", Bawlcheeze said as he climbed off his opposing captain. "Oops, looks like I left a bit of a nugget there." He then started talking about competition expected in next year's WWDTF season. "There are a couple of up and coming teams out there. We expect to see some real action from guys like the Dirty Sanchez's and the Strawberry Shortcakes, but we will see. We have a pretty strong team ourselves."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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