Written by P.M. Wortham
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Topics: World Record, Cards

Friday, 23 April 2010

image for P.M. Wortham Makes Appearance at World's Largest Euchre Tournament
"Gimme the Jacks baby" Says Wortham.

With the Book of World's Records in attendance, P.M. Wortham, semi-famous hack spoof writer, will join thousands of others in an attempt to break the record for the world's largest Euchre tournament.

Held in the Detroit area this coming weekend and with benefits going to local charities, Wortham will reportedly return to his home state in time for the record attempt. National coverage for the event is expected to be lean however, with few people even knowing that Euchre is a card game. "It is pronounced just like Bob Uecker, the famous baseball announcer", Wortham said. One reporter replied, "Bob who?"

Explaining further, Wortham says, "You play with a partner, calling trump, holding your bowers and taking as many tricks as you can". A policeman listening to his explanation replied, "And where do these elicit sexual activities take place again?"

Discretion being the better part of valor, Wortham used the small crowd who had assembled for what they thought would be free pizza, to buffer himself against the cop. He bolted to the exit stairwell and his awaiting limousine to make a bee line for the state border. As the limo rolled across the interstate, Wortham remained introspective though still mumbling. "I wonder how many times I'll get to go alone".

"Not in the back seat of my limo you don't", barked the driver. "No, I was talking about Euchre", Wortham said. "You what?" Replied the driver. "Nevermind", answered Wortham.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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