Written by Lance.D.Boyle
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Topics: Tennis, Taliban

Wednesday, 2 February 2005

In a shocking episode at the Australian Open Tennis Tournament in Melbourne recently,Taliban tennis legend 'Mucktear Karbang' declared a 'Jihad' against the Umpire for a line ball call. Mucktear ,centrecourt during a no love match, whipped a live handgrenade from under his shorts and aced the umpires chair, sending the chair and umpire to meet their maker. It has been revealed that Mucktear had previously had issues with organisers of the event,believing that the women tennis players in the tournament should wear the 'Burka' the fashion wear of fundementalist Islamic women.

Mucktear looking dashing in traditional camouflage shorts and shirt,supplied by Nike Afgahnistan, was further infuriated by the fact that security would not allow him to wear his AK47 over his shoulder whilst playing in the tournament. "I am being discriminated against" claimed Mucktear "How come other players can take their good luck charms onto the court but I cannot?"

He was referring of course to Aggassi's lucky penny,and Hewitt's lucky wristband. "I have modelled my playing on the great McEnroe "he shouted. "You want a dummy spit I'll show you a dummy spit !!! 'then began to hit live grenades into the crowd,some of whom dived onto them for souvenirs. Mucktear's coach/spin doctor, Where u bin laden in the following press conference claimed that "Mucktear is misunderstood and really is a fragile,highly strung sports star who needs love and attention and of course his beloved AK47."

Where u bin then added "In his country, Mucktear trains hard at alqueda training camps and can be seen doing the hard yards ,for example the 100 meter minefield dash, and the ever popular 'outrun the rocket launcher' a training method now adopted by the al queda training camps worldwide"

Tennis authorities are considering whether to allow Mucktear to play in further tournaments,allowing him to take a small caliber pistol and a machette onto the court as a lucky charm. But no matter what, watch out for the explosive Mucktear 'ace', he is going to be around for a long time but maybe not a good time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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