Written by JohnPhillips30
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Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for Staffs Uni enter BUCS 7s but leave Mary out

This year Staffordshire University Men's Rugby Union Stoke have competed a rare treble after winning the league, Midlands Cup and varsity against Keele.

This is not bad for a university that two years ago were relegated into the lowest league in the BUCS Championships. They also won 'Club of the Year' title at our sports presentation night. But don't I wish I played a part of this rare feat

Ever since I was seven I have been a fan of Rugby Union. The thing was I was never good at playing it. My dad took me to my local Rugby Club called Oadby Wyggs when I was seven and I wasn't bad at the tag version of the game. It all went downhill when contact was introduced. I was never good at tackling and would always be shoved on the wing to avoid contact. Whilst on the wing I would engage in conversations with the parents on the sideline and not really pay attention in the game, resulting in me once making a daisy chain 12 flowers long.

My dad would drop me off at 10am and pick me up at half 12. So at 12:20 when all the other kids were caked in mud I would still have white shorts and not a speck of mud on me. So I would quickly cover my hands with mud and wipe it over my face and knees to convince my dad that I had got just as stuck in as the other kids.

At the age of 12 I gave up playing rugby, but still went and watched the Leicester Tigers most weekends at Welford Road. I dabbled in playing a bit of rugby during sixth form, but was still as bad as I was when I was 12. My sister on the other hand seemed to get all the rugby genes in our family and I received none.

Three years ago I joined Staffs University Men's Rugby Union and thought I could give playing rugby one last go. And for the third time in my life I finally realized that I was not born to be a rugby player. I am a qualified level one rugby coach and one day off my level two, but even though I know how to teach the sport I can't practice what I preach. I have made few appearances off the bench for Staffs Uni and the rest of the time I have been linesman.

Although I did not play a part on the field I am very proud of what the team has achieved this year. It was great to see a university like Staffs Uni pick off all these bigger universities like Nottingham Trent, Nottingham and Oxford Brookes on the way to cup glory. During the season the firsts only lost one game and I am so glad to be leaving university rugby on a high.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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