In a desperate effort to complete their 1,200-mile journey to Thursday's Europa League semi-final with Atletico Madrid Liverpool F.C. have hired a flotilla of pedallos at Dover.
Club Manager Rafael Benitez, in Pedallo 63, puffed, "Estamos hecho polvo ya, y apenas hemos llegado al muro del puerto"... ("We are knackered already, and we have only just reached the harbour wall.")
Captain Stevie "Seasick" Gerrard, following with boat-mate Dirk "Kite" Kuyt, was more succinct. "The odds are against us, but we deserve to be where we are. How can I think of leaving Liverpool after a night like this?"
Altletico spokesman Rocco Gibralter has been quoted as saying,"We wish Liverpool well, and look forward to receiving a postcard from the Azores in a few weeks."