In a new interview with The Spoof, Rafa Benitez has openly admitted his hatred for Alex Ferguson, suggesting that he would rather lose the final match of the season to Chelsea rather than see Ferguson lift the league cup for the fourth consecutive time.
"Fact: I hate Ferguson. Liverpool's season has been horrid anyways, so another loss is of no concern to this sad club of ours" said the chubby Spaniard. "The supporters will not notice our terrible form as they're caught up reading their history instead of worrying about our current situation," added the overweight ex-waiter Benitez.
Meanwhile, Disneyland and Bin Laden have been fighting over ownership rights for Liverpool FC. According to local Pakistanis, Bin Laden has been particularly keen on moving to the historic Scouseland stadium since it is the last "dump" CIA insurgents would bother to check.