The director of Radio 5 Sport, Ezra Pocketcash, announced today that effective immediately, the radio station is to begin broadcasting football matches in 3-D.
This new service has been brought forward in time for the world cup, where a lot of teams from different countries run around football pitches with their jerseys over their heads, spitting on the ground (or sometimes at each other) trying to get their Equity cards, while Sir Alex Chewingum can be seen chewing gum. The players sometimes even kick the ball around as well in an attempt to get it into the net at the far end of the ground.
Fans of football were said to be delighted and excited. Dave Snot, who supports Milwall and can be seen on the terraces each week fighting with other team supporters, was said to be ecstatic, although he couldn't spell ecstatic. He said that he always found the words in newspapers were difficult to read, not because he needs glasses, but because like many soccer supporters, he is terminally stupid.
He felt that the new 3D service on the radio would be absolutely super, bringing new depths to a sport that has already sunk quite low in terms of payment to participants versus what the supporters receive for their contribution in return.
It is a co-incidence that the £ sign is above the 3 in 3-D