Written by Frank Michaels
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Monday, 5 April 2010

image for Glazer Plans to Unite Teams
Glazer's cash flow problems likely at heart of proposed merger.

Owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United sports teams, Malcolm Glazer, today announced formal plans to merge the franchises into a single entity. The scheme includes splicing in players from both Soccer and American Football to create a hybrid team that would be nominally proficient in both sports, and be called the 'Manchester Bay Buccunited'.

Glazer has taken a lot of heat from both fan-bases as of late, mostly for what is seen as shortchanging the respective talent pools in favor of clearing his personal cash flow problems. This latest plan is likely an effort to distract both British and American fans from the general slide in performance on the field by introducing a PT Barnum-like brand of bull-shtick.

Shortly after the news of the merger was announced, 73 Buc's fans, dressed in full pirate regalia, seized control of the pirate ship in Raymond James Stadium and threatened to sail to New Orleans if Glazer didn't come in person to meet with them on the issue.

Meanwhile, just across the Gulf of Mexico, Saints fans have already been seen in support of the general uprising in Tampa and have offered Bucs followers a number of incentives to defect to the Crescent City.

At the time of this publication, Malcolm Glazer's offices had not responded to those in the Buccaneers' East Indiaman, or to the increasing noise being made in Manchester over the proposed blend.

On a side note, several Tampa Bay players, speaking on condition of anonymity, said they didn't have any problems with soccer, except they would much prefer to play it as a full-contact sport.

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