Bewildered England football fans were left scratching their heads yet again this morning following the announcement that now veteran striker Kevin Keegan has ruled himself out of the England World Cup squad.
The devastating news broke this morning, as Keegan was released from hospital with his head in crutches. From what we have managed to glean, Keegan was changing a lightbulb at his home last night when he slipped off a chair and fractured his perm in several places.
Keegan was rushed to North Tyneside General Hospital on the Costa Del Sol and prodded with biros by several doctors and a porter before it was announced that the damage was even worse than initial fears suggested.
Apart from a fractured perm, Keegan suffered some serious collateral split-end injuries and a partial follicle seizure. On the plus side, his PH balance was said to be stable but that in itself won't be enough for the former Newcastle United and Manchester City coach to get his mojo back.
A devastated King Kev told me:
"It's not on lads. I'm really sorry. I'm especially gutted for the fans, but I would like it - nay LOVE IT - if our lads can go out there and win it for the whole country, and especially the north-east. That would be great for the north-east that would. And England. Pass us me hairbrush Jonty will ya?"
More crockery as it comes in.