Sir Alex, ahead of tonights Preussian vs Mancurian titanic clash, has latched on to an ancient Bavarian tradition and promised the Bayern Munich fans the following:
"We will pull the the Lederhosen's of the Bayern Players down and smack their bottoms!"
This tradition is used during Bavarian log-cutting extravagansas when massive beer bellied Bavarians clash in competition and when one of them wins they pull the 'Lederhosen' down of the losers and smack his bum cheeks rosy red.
Then they all down litres of Bavarian beer and get thouroughly pissed (another great Bavarian tradition).
Sir Alex is a master of mind games and his contrahand, Dutchman, Louis van Gaal has warned his players not to go log-chopping at Rooney, United's Starman.
And to make things even more entertaining before tonights massive clash, Wayne "Scouser" Rooney has promised to wear a pair of "ECHTE BAVARIAN LEDERHOSEN" before the game and will do a bum-slapping, knee-slapping duet with Rio Ferdinand to add to the fun!
Let's hope all of this bum and knee slapping will drive Franz Beckenbauer mad and Man Utd onto a massive result, SLAP, SLAP, BOOM, BOOM UND AUFWIEDERSEHEN!