Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 28 March 2010

image for Villa Get The Blues As United Turn The Screws
The Title Race Is On - No Horses Involved

Chelsea took great satisfaction on Saturday from inflicting a severe case of the Blues on a tired looking Villa team, who they battered 7-1 at Stamford Bridge, which included a four goal salvo from Frank Lampard, who still won't tell anybody whether or not he's in a relationship with The One Show's Christine Bleakley.

The Chelsea team then settled down to watch the evening kick-off between Bolton and Manchester United on ESPN* hoping that United would slip up, thus conceding ground in the closest title run in for years.

However, Chelsea were to be disappointed as United ran out comfortable 4-0 winners thanks to an own goal from Bolton's Samuel, under pressure from a rampant Ryan Giggs, a brace from Berbatov, and the icing on the cake from Gibson on 82 minutes.

United's Assistant Manager, Mike Phelan, later told reporters that Sir Alex Govanson had rested Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney as a favour to England manager Fabio Capello. Phelan appeared to be speaking jokingly but we took him seriously because he can be a miserable bastard sometimes. Like us.

With Arsenal scraping a draw away to Birmingham City, the Title race remains wide open. Unless you're Liverpool, or Manchester City, in which case, forget it because non-runners don't ever get onto the home straight.

With apologies to Hull City, Portsmouth, Burnley, and West Ham - who have all been even worse than Liverpool and Manchester Megabucks.

More as we get it

*Come on ESPN! The plug must be worth a free subscription! No? Tight bastards!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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