Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 28 March 2010

image for Burnley Beaten By Blackburn Rovers - Fans Upbeat As Relegation Looms
Never Mind The Result - It's PAAAARRTY Time!

Blackburn Rovers, affectionately known by fans of bitter local rivals Burnley, as "T' Bastards" emerged victorious in a fiercely contested North East Lancashire derby by a single goal at Turf Moor.

Condemning the Clarets to almost certain relegation to the Championship.

But Burnley fans were surprisingly optimistic in the face of such soul destroying adversity, many of them having come to terms with the probability of relegation before a ball was even kicked this season. Indicating the crowing Rovers fans gathered in the David Fishwick Stand, Burnley fan Mick Postlethwaite told us:

"You see that lot there? Them bastards? Aye, they're celebrating 'cause they got one over on us, but it were only to be expected really. So you could say that we're laughing at them laughing at us. We'll be back. Only next time we'll be better prepared. We'll be ready."

Other Burnley supporters endorsed Postlethwaite's statement, explaining that the Premiership was pretty much uncharted territory for their team, and that despite results not going their way, everybody involved with Burnley FC had learned a great deal from their experiences in the big time and would be putting their new found knowledge to good use in making the club a Premiership force to be reckoned with.

Manager Brian Laws told us:

"We're not down yet, but I must admit that it's looking inevitable. The lads have worked hard this season and we've dropped a lot of points simply by being naive and letting some good work come undone. But we'll work on that, and hopefully we'll be back soon. It's been very emotional."

Our reporter asked one Burnley fan, who seemed to be well into the party mood why he was feeling so happy in the aftermath of a bitter derby defeat. He said:

"Our Vinnie's having a house party tonight and Dave Eckersley's sister Lindsay's going. She's a right goer is Lindsay so it looks like we're all on a promise tonight, like."

And a comment on the match?

"Bastards. Bastard Rovers," the fan told us. "Dirty cheating Bastard Rovers. Be reet though. We'll be back. Mark my words."

More Turf Moor tom-foolery as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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