Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 22 March 2010

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New Hull City manager Iain Dowie has refused to give up the fight to keep his beleaguered Tigers in the Premier League, and says that there is always hope, even after their vain struggle has become mathematically impossible.

Dowie, who dropped out of school at the age of 11 to become a chimney sweep, was speaking during an interview on Radio Humberside, and told presenters:

"We'll not give up the fight. Even when we are going into the last game needing 15 points to stay up, it's never over till the fat lady sings."

As a fat lady was heard to commence singing in the background, Dowie added:

"Someone shut the fat bird up. I'm an expert at taking clubs down from the Premier League, so I should know what's required."

Iain Dowie lost his teeth in a 'grasscutting incident' aged 6.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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