Written by Monkey Woods

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Wednesday, 17 March 2010

image for Hull City Name Shrek As New Manager
Iain Dowie today

Hull City are expected to unveil the former Disney Pixar star Shrek as their new manager on Wednesday, the Spoof understands.

The former star of Shrek, Shrek 2 and Shrek the Third had talks with Hull chairman Adam Pearson on Monday after Phil Brown was sacked.

Steve Coppell, Gary Megson, Terry Venables, Gareth Southgate, Paul Jewell and Mark Hughes - all known as moderately successful and knowledgeable football managers - had also been linked with the vacancy at the KC Stadium.

The 45-year-old Shrek was axed as QPR boss in 2008 after only 15 games, and formerly managed Oldham, Charlton and Coventry. His crowning moment was when he took Crystal Palace back down into the Championship in 2005.

He also briefly worked as a coach at Newcastle last season under Alan Shearer as the Magpies were relegated to the Championship.

Shrek is severely ugly, and those Hull fans with young children who scare easily should take note. Eye protection will be available at the KC Stadium on matchdays for anyone who feels they may faint at the sight of the new boss.

Paramedics will be on-hand to attend to the worst-affected casualties.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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