Written by Bill Licks
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Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Achilles pulls out of the Trojan War after doing a 'David Beckham'
Achilles career is said to be 'In Ruins'.

The Greeks suffered a major blow in the Trojan War last night after losing one of their most famous heroes, Achilles, to an injury similar to that suffered by David Beckham in AC Milan's victory over Chievo.

The incident happened after the big Greek warhorse took a heavy challenge from the Trojan playmaker, Paris, in a close fought battle, which led to Achilles being stretchered off the battle field.

The son of the nymph Thetis was said to be distraught with the news that his career could well be over, however, leading doctor Hippocrates is confident that Achilles will be up and running by the middle of next season again.

The Greek boss Odysseus was furious at the challenge that led to his star man being sidelined for the rest of the season. 'I believe we are a marked team.' He said angrily. 'My players are the victims of far too many unfair challenges and I hope the Greek Gods take action and hand out the severest punishment possible to the Trojan player. '

The press have also criticised the performance of Paris. In the Daily Iliad, renowned journalist Homer described his performance as 'unskilled and cowardly' and popular tabloid the Sun God led with the headline 'Paris takes Big Greek from behind.'

Achilles will feel that the Gods are definitely against him at the moment. Speculation about an affair with fellow team mate Patroclus had affected his recent performances on the battlefield and also resulted in the breakup of his marriage to wife Polyxena, or Ancient Greek Spice as some Trojans have cruelly named her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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