Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Cheltenham Festival will be cancelled says famous whorse whisperer
No lucky rabbit foot can reverse the grim prognostication...

Gloucestershire - (Shergar Mess): A death star sigil that has suddenly appeared on World Hurdle hopeful War of Attrition's hind quarters has sent fans of the Ryanair boss-owned gelding absolutely ballistic.

Michael O'Leary's racing team is having none of it, however, blaming silly superstition-mad nutcases for spreading meaningless paranoia.

"Just how daft can you get?" O'Leary asked, anxiously stroking his lucky rabbit foot and bunch of four-leafed clover.

"Of course Cheltenham won't be cancelled, that's my banker bet of the week!"

Others, however are not so sure.

A hexed Ides of March Pisces new moon on Monday will trigger events leading to the cancellation of jump racing's annual codpiece, er...showpiece! - according to one famous whorse sign interpreter.

The canny millionaire ex-bookie, Dave 'Mug' Punter. stands to rake in a fortune after taking out an insurance bet of £1,000 at 1,000-1 that the entire five day meeting will go down the pan.

"I blame that dumb Queen Mother Triumph Hurdle nonsense," Punter explained, "the name's so long past its sell-by it's hexing the entire meeting."

There's only one Wille Carson.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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