"Unless they want to find themselves the subject of a huge lawsuit, they better knock off using the word 'football' for their wussy game and this includes 'futbol', as well." This statement was attributed to Knute Redknuckle, the football commissioner from his headquarters high atop Park Avenue in New York City.
"The N.F.L. is cracking down on what we consider to be plagiarism of the most offensive kind. We will use our best defensive strategies to offset their game plan, and have our lawyers do an end around their offense," he continued. "We will not be beat by those skinny little runts."