Written by Wumf
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Topics: Motor racing

Thursday, 11 March 2010

image for Race-car drivers now allowed to "fight to the finish" using handguns
Bullets whiz as those crazy drivers near the checkered flag!

In order to spur the flagging interest of America's Race-car fans, the organization's bylaws were amended today to allow drivers to fire guns out of the windows of their cars to "impede, slow, or otherwise better the racer's progress against a competing driver."

Officials are hoping that the addition of gunplay to the country's #1 sport will bring back attendance numbers to the dwindling industry.

Race-car devotees note that guns often played a part in the birth of the road racing sport during the bootlegging days of Prohibition. Many a police car giving chase to the illegal booze haulers had an exciting finish to their "race" with their headlights or even their heads being shot out.

"We hope to bring back that old timey air of excitement and spontaneity to the track", said Elmer "Spudwrench" Denison, Race-car start official for over 75 years. "Bringing back the weaponry will definitely put a big question mark into not just who will win the race, but, will they even survive to finish?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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