Written by Skoob1999
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Wednesday, 10 March 2010

image for Malcolm Glazer Is The Spawn Of The Devil Says Expert
Red Devils v Spawn Of Satan

As all the gory details are gradually rising to the fore regarding the Glazer family's ruthless financial exploitation of Manchester United FC, we decided that it was high time we investigated whether there was a case to answer, or whether the Manchester United supporters who so vociferously oppose the Glazers are just a bunch of spoilt brats.

We consulted Donald Skoob, a Salford caretaker and world renowned expert on all things Satanic (rites, Sluts, mills etc) in a Manchester pub last night after the Champions League game against Milan, and he told us:

"Malcolm Glazer is without doubt the spawn of Satan. His children are the spawn of the spawn of Satan. These people are pure evil. They came swanning into town on borrowed money, took over the club, raised ticket prices, paid themselves millions in wages and fees, and are in the process of bringing our beloved football club to its knees. They want to destroy United; it's as simple as that. But they'll never succeed. We may have a devil on the club crest, but we've also got God in our corner."

For Manchester United, a club with zero debt when the Glazers took over, the current debt level of £716 million is proving a bitter pill to swallow. In the meantime, for Donald Skoob and the Manchester United Supporters Trust, the red and gold protests and the Glazer Out campaign from the Old Trafford terraces continues apace.

We leave the last word with Donald Skoob, who by this point, we should point out, was becoming increasingly well lubricated:

"We want Glazer out! I said we want Glazer out! We want...etc..."

In other news, David Beckham came home and United beat AC Milan 4-0, 7-2 on aggregate.

More on Newton Heath Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway FC as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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