London - (Offside Rule): The England coach is mad as hell: someone has recorded his entire World Cup strategy briefing on their mobile.
And the bugged plot has found its way into the hands of a debt collector arm of a foreign bank whose existence was revealed last month by Spoof reporter queen mudder's exposé.
Today a delegation of frantic WAGs, slags and premiership sluts has called on Capello to reinstate their plastic rights following a clampdown on gratuitous shopping binges ahead of this summer's World Cup.
"A gross infringement of the Human Frights Act!" the delegation's legal representative said today.
Veronica Perroncel is to play Snow White in a Godalming theater's Xmas panto this December.