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Saturday, 27 February 2010

image for Simon Cowell and Ellen Degeneres Invite Ivana Phuque To Perform On American Idol
If Ivana Phuque just bounces around, she'll make audiences happy

Swedish Olympic Skater Ivana Phuque has become the international darling of the Vancouver Winter Games. She has won four gold medals and the hearts of millions of fans all over the world. Her daring jumps, spins, and leaps, all performed braless and while wearing no panties under her short skirt, have captured the attention of athletes and viewers.

As part of her post-Olympic tour, Ivana has agreed to perform on American Idol. This was done at the insistance of Simon Cowell and the openly Lesbian Ellen Degeneres. Ryan Seacrest and Kara didn't care one way or another about the invitation, while Randy Jackson was off on a run of "Yo, Yo, Yo, dawgs" and could not be interrupted or have his train of thought broken.

When asked which song he wanted the Swedish blonde bombshell to perform, Cowell said "I really don't think that it matters much in this case. She could wear her Olympics costume, sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and just jump up and down and I'd be happy."

In this instance, Ellen agreed with Simon. She also said that "I'd like to put her mark really close to the judges table... and have her perform right in front of us. I think that Simon and I should get the full benefit of her performance."

Cowell and Degeneres also agreed that the three should get together for private practice sessions before the live, studio performance. Those practice sessions will take place in a suite at an unnamed Hollywood Hotel.

Ellen said that "it may be necessary to take and strip this girl down to her bare bones, and then build her up. I'm talking about both her raw talent and her costuming, of course."

When asked how he felt about the three of them working together, Simon said "I'm pleased that Ellen and I both have improving this girl's career as our first priority and am happy to work with her on this. The job will have it's ups and downs, but I'm sure that Ellen knows the ins and outs."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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