Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 27 February 2010

image for Chinese bank owns 50 Premiership players' gambling debts 'worth £60m'
Inscrewtable: MugPunters 'R' Us.con advises on ther likely odds of a meltdown

London - (Sports Relief): At least fifty Premiership players' gambling debts worth an estimated £60 million have been bought up by the King Kong & Sham High Banking Corp.

Worried Punters Anonymous sources estimate that up to 90% of England 2010 squad wannabes are in hock to the Cayman Islands-registered bank.

"This is Russian Roulette at its most inscrewtable," the MugPunters'R'Us.con website commented today.

KKSH bank is headquartered at the Cayman Islands epicenter of this weekend's dire tsunami warning, triggered by a 8.5 tremor in Chile.

Minister for Sport Gerry Sutcliffe, whose portfolio includes gambling, whorseracing and the Tote, appears unworried by the bank's debt collecting profile.

"The lads like a bit of a flutter and probably settle up with their bookies on a monthly basis," a DCMS source explained today.

Last week media reports that England 2010 squad members might be vulnerable to gambling-mad Chinese punters were dismissed as fantasy.

"There's only one Kevin Keegan!" an anonymous graffiti artiste has scrawled outside the bank's Old Bailey branch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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