Written by Earl Grey
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Wednesday, 24 February 2010

image for Tendulkar To Play For England
Not Tendulkar

Sachin Tondulkar, the greatest batsman in the world is to play test cricket for England. Negotiations went on long into the night as the England and Wales Cricket Board sought to persuade the star that his future lay with England.

England captain Andrew Strauss revealed "We have discovered a clause which allows anyone from the former British Empire to play cricket for England. Previously we thought this only worked with South Africans, so we picked loads of them" said the South African Strauss. "Now we know that Indians, Australians, New Zealanders and West Indians can also play for England. At last we shall be the best team in the world."

Tendulkar is idolised in India. He has the pulling power of a Hollywood star, so his defection from Indian cricket would be a major blow. Only yesterday he became the first batsman to score a double century in a one-day international. India will surely oppose any attempt to steal him away.

Not all of his potential new team mates are pleased. Kevon Peterson is particularly angry. "You can't just decide that you are English because it is convenient for you. National identity needs to be nurtured. You have to be a real Englishman to understand the power of the three lions on your chest" said the South African born and raised batsman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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