Written by Mike Miedema
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Topics: Detroit, Brett Favre

Wednesday, 10 November 2004

image for Brett Favre trades himself in Fantasy League
Citing, "I'm not the Statistical Powerhouse I once was."

In a surprising move, Brett Favre traded himself for Ben Roethlisberger in his competitive Fantasy Football League Monday. He also gave up RB Kevin Jones of the Detroit Lions to complete the deal.

"You've got to factor age into the equation here," cited Favre, "Ben's upside is enormous and his body will hold up better down the stretch than mine." Despite a great season thus far by Favre with 14TD's and only 9 INT's, he doesn't see himself finishing the year off strong. "We've got to play St. Louis, Philly and Minnesota we have to play twice, I just don't see me putting up the numbers at the quarterback position to win this rotisserie league; they put a premium on quarterback stats."

Brett's admiration for Ben did not come without a slight drippage of man tears, "Ben is playing beyond his years. He is like an unmolested dove soaring over the countryside, gracing our solemn existence, flying high above the other birds, finding food that other uglier doves can't find, and finding cross patterns and receivers that defenses cannot cover."

Roethlisberger will help Favre's team immediately. "If you look at his stats, they show a steady and improving position. Here's a guy who has just 5 INT's and completes nearly 70% of his passes. If you show me where I can sign up for stock in Ben Roethlisberger, I'll sign now, I'll sign twice, I'll sign with the darkest ink known on this planet, and I'll press down really hard- carbon copy or not."

Kevin Jones was added on a whim because of a surplus Favre has on running backs. "I'm covered at the running back position, plus Jones has been injured on and off. I talked to Mariucci to scope some inside info on Jones and when I told him about the trade I was thinking about with Roethlisberger, he said to go for it, and that Jones wasn't an intregal part of their offense anyway."

A win in the Fantasy League is crucial to Favre. Upon completion of this trade, Favre will have successfully purged his team of Green Bay Packers. Excited about the prospects of his new man Brett boasted, "Now let's play some football! Fantasy Style! On the PC!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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