Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 22 February 2010

image for Ashley Left Back In Dressing Room As Cheryl Goes For A New Line Up
Ashley Coles' fans turned out to cheer him on in his hour of need

Cheryl Cole has announced that she is dropping husband Ashley Cole from the team. This comes following several away games where he was clearly caught offside. His defense leaked own goals and Cheryl feels that she needs a new team mate in order to avoid relegation from the Celebrity A League.

In a statement Cheryl said "I gave him ten minutes into the second half but he was constantly out of position. So, I told him it was an early bath. He looked rather pleased at first. When I signed Ashley I made it clear to him that he would remain my number one choice only if he remained loyal to the team. He clearly hasn't so I'm putting him on the transfer list and I will listen to all offers."

For Ashley Cole the news has come at a very difficult time in the season. A recent injury has meant that jumping in and out of bed with a string of floozies will have to wait. He was scoring plenty, but forgot his defensive duties and left himself wide open. He will find it very difficult to sign for a new team, although he may still get plenty of action at Chelsea if he can get past John Terry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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