Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 20 February 2010

image for Skeleton Racer Amy Williams Wins 1st GB Winter Olympic Gold In 30 Years Amid Canadian Protests
Anybody Here Seen Jack Nicholson?

27 year old Amy Williams stormed into the gold medal slot in the Skeleton Luge event in the Winter Olympics - the first GB gold medal for 30 years - and into a storm of controversy as Canadian officials flew into a proper hissy fit, protesting that the Briton was an out and out cheat.

The miserable tree-chopping, seal clubbing, colonists complained that our Amy had aerodynamic fins built into her helmet, that she had concealed a James Bond type jet pack up her arse and that she wasn't a proper skeleton anyway because she has eyeballs.

In a victory which kept at least thirty eight people glued to their TV sets until the early hours of the morning GMT back here in the UK the folks of Whistler stopped whistling and took umbrage.

We asked the only sensible Canadian we know, a proctologist named Doc Victor Nicholas why it is that the Canadians are so upset and bitter that GB scooped gold in the games? He told us:

"I don't know. I didn't see it."

More things that we don't see as we miss them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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