Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 16 February 2010

image for Ashley Cole Becomes Chelsea's Top Scorer
"Get in there my son, nice one!"

Ashley Cole has done it again! Always a threat around the box, Cole arrived late and he really doesn't miss from there. This brings his career tally to 100, placing him comfortably ahead of team mates John Terry, Frank Lampard and Joe Cole (no relation).

Chelsea's new coach, Dr Alex Comfort, said "I gave the lads a copy of my training manual, 'The Joy of Sex' and Ashley really got stuck in. I'm over the moon about his performance. Stamina, pace, poise and power. This lad has the lot. If he can stay fit then we really will trouble the Germans at the World Cup."

John Terry recently scored an own goal and will be hoping for a better performance next time he plays away from home. Speaking earlier today he said "It's end to end stuff. It's what I love. Stroke it between the posts and always play until the whistle."

Chelsea have recently adopted a phwoar phwoar two formation much to everyone's surprise. However, the biggest surprise was Ashley Cole's new strip, which is available from the club shop via text message.

"Sing when you're shagging, you only sing when you're shagging..."

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