The only British person to appear in this year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver has lived up to the British reputation of whining incessantly, so much so, other competitors have requested that this Whining Pom is deported.
Having had the best preparation for the Winter Olympics ever, Tom 'Bouncing' Bonner of County Durham was complaining about the lack of entrants from his home county.
"Seriously," announced Bonner, glad somebody was listening, "It's done nothing but freakin snow all winter in Britain. It's like the WORST snow we've had since the English Channel opened, and how many competitors do we have hear? One! That's right, one! Me! You'd think all that sliding down the A1 in a 4x4 would be the perfect training for the bob-sleigh, whilst our kids have become adept at hurtling down hills on tea-trays so should be brilliant at the skeleton bob, but no! Every lake and river in the UK froze over for five solid weeks, so where are our ice skaters? Our speed skaters? We have been bushing snow for two months so we should wipe the floor with the other countries curling teams. The only way to travel across the British Isles for a fortnight was by skis, but we have not one skier here. What is going on?"
Bonner continued in a similar vein for over half an hour after the interview finished.
It is likely that the Olympic committee will find somebody else to drive the snow plough.