Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 15 February 2010

image for One Of Germany's Top Female Olympic Figure Skaters Suspended For Pubic Region Reason
Lia Sophie Berlinburger's home back in Dusseldorf, Germany

VANCOUVER - The Canadian Winter Olympics Committee has ruled to suspend German figure skater Lia Sophie Berlinburger.

One of Berlinburger's fellow teammates, who was only identified by the initials Z.Y. informed the German figure skating coach Maximilian Rhinehoffer, that she had seen Lia Sophie's pubic region and Berlinburger had trimmed her public hair to resemble a Nazi swastika.

Rhinehoffer pointed out that German Olympic rules and by-laws clearly prohibit any German Olympic team member from openly or privately displaying the dreaded Nazi swastika on any part of their clothing, Olympic uniform, outfit, or underwear.

The rules and by-laws also prohibit the displaying of the Nazi swastika on any part of the individual's body which most definitely includes the pubic region, or as the Canadians mistakenly refer to it as the 'crotchety area.'

Berlinburger was given every opportunity to completely shave off all of her pubic region hair which would have completely solved the illegal swastika problem.

But she refused saying that she is a German woman, and real and true German women do not shave their pubic regions, legs, or armpits.

Rhinehoffer had no choice but to suspend her and instruct her to get back to Germany immediately.

SIDENOTE: One of Berlinburger's fellow Olympic teammates Zelda Yattblicken (see Z.Y. above) revealed that she actually saw Rhinehoffer hit Lia Sophie with a hamburger and yell at her to find her own damn way back to her damn hometown of Dusseldorf, Germany.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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