Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 15 February 2010

image for NASCAR to Add More Potholes in Upcoming Events
The 2010 Daytona 500 to see More Road Hazards Next Year.

Following one of the most exciting Daytona 500 races in history; NASCAR officials embraced their troubles with potholes on the track surface by announcing that future events would indeed see more hazards introduced during the race.

While Jamie McMurray managed to avoid the pothole in question on his way to the 2010 Daytona victory, others in the field were left with blown tires and wrecked cars as trophies. There were numerous complaints by drivers and their pit crews about the track conditions, but NASCAR officials seemed to be influenced more by television viewer feedback.

"Let's face it. Our audience likes to see a bunch of southern boys trade paint and crash once in a while. It would be like the good old days of street racing complete with bumpy asphalt, pot holes, and roadkill to avoid on your way to victory", says NASCAR race official, Ted "Bump" Hardash. "The fans are sick of watching 30 cars, in line, driving 500 miles by turning left. Let's toss an armadillo out there and see what happens".

Self-proclaimed "Superfan" Timmy Milktoaston, president of the NASCAR Official Live Interactive Fans & Enthusiasts club says, "It sure was exciting out there. We can't wait to see how they will prep the road for the Indianapolis Brickyard race. Other members of NOLIFE agree, we can't wait for the next race".

Hardash wasn't willing to talk about specifics in advance of any given race, but indicated that was his plan. "We want to keep the new race challenges a secret, and really keep our drivers on their toes. Maybe a little oil spill, a couple of dead Possums, and a pothole or two, but it will be different for each race. It should be about driving skill after all, and hell, if you can avoid a wandering chicken on the track on your way to victory, all the better for the fans."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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