Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 15 February 2010

image for Russian With Three Testicles Wins Gold
Three balls earlier today

News from the Winter Olympics in Toronto. In the speed skating the mens 100 metre dash was won by Russia's Houdunika Bolokov in a new record time. Controversy still surronds Bolokov's entry in the games. He is the first openly tri-testicled athlete to win gold. Sharon Davies has always strongly denied the allegations.

Bolokov certainly scared his opponents when he entered the stadium in his lycra outfit. The contents of his package were clearly on display and the other athletes were left feeling somewhat inadequate. Ireland's Stig O'Treacy said "I was warming up when Bolokov walked past. All three of his balls were bouncing past. It put me right off. I false started twice and was disqualified."

Bolokov intends to take part in as many events as he can, and back home in Chernobyl he trained several times a day. Linford Christie said of Bolokov "Thank God. Now people will forget all about my lunchbox. This guy is no stick of celery. He's a sausage and three spuds kind of guy."

Bolokov hopes to go into politics after he retires. He wants to be something big in the chamber.

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