Written by Bureau
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Topics: Funeral

Sunday, 14 February 2010

image for Sports Insignia Caskets Now Done By Monks

The makers of The Sports Caskets with the insignia of your favorite sports team on the casket has been awarded to the monks at the Abbey of Gethsemane.

"We have more than we can take care of", stated Brendan Holedigger of Greenleaf-Whittier Coffins in Illinois. "With so many baby boomers getting old, we hardly have time to do regular coffins anymore and have hired fifteen new workers in the past year."

"We're glad to get the job, as some of the monks here can do some fine wood work", stated Brother Warner. Our fruitcakes and cheese sell well in the fall but we needed something the year around."

At death, the monks themselves are usually merely wrapped in white covering and placed in the ground at the cemetery outside the side entrance.

One of the monks, Thomas Merton, a famous writer, is buried there.

The idea of the sports logos on coffins has done well as people who are Yankee fans or Cubs or even of college teams can take their insignia with them. Notre Dame has made the most orders thus far.

One famous Yankee already has his ready for whenever it happens. Yogi Berra was there to pick out his own recently and told reporters, "Why wait until you're dead to pick out your coffin?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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