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Topics: Olympics, Panties

Sunday, 14 February 2010

image for Annual Olympic Panty Raid Goes Off With No Complications
The three most popular colors...as usual

The annual Olympic Panty Raid in the Olympic Village went off this year without any complications or injuries. The event, which happens each Olympics, features all of the male athletes raiding the dormitory rooms of all of the female athletes to steal their under garments (bras, panties, and other lingerie). The items are then used to decorate the trees (Christmas style) in the Olympic Village.

This year, a few things were noted in the raid:

There was a higher number of thong panties than in previous winter Olympics. This may be due to the current warmer weather in Vancouver. Either that, or the 2010 athletes are just skankier.

Raiders stealing the underwear from the Chinese women discovered very few bras. They also found that most of the panties had images of Strawberry Shortcake or The Little Mermaid. Raiders also noted to reporters that many of the beds had rails to keep the children from falling out and that some of the Chinese females also wore Pull-ups training pants.

Adam Lambert, who was in Vancouver to watch the games, witnessed the decoration of the trees. He was heard by some athletes to say "I'd wear those...I have a pair like that...those are pretty...those would go good with my black dress..."

The largest number of wearers of Wonderbras and padded bras came from Southeast Asain countries (as usual).

Fewer Granny Panties were seen this year, with bikini style and low rise being the panty of choice. The favorite colors did not seem to reflect colors of the national flag, but remained the traditional red, white and black (though flesh colored did rise from fifth to fourth place, passing lime green).

For the first time, no female athlete brought days of the week panties to the Olympic village (though Lambert did admit that he was wearing these).

The next Olympic Panty Raid will take place during the 2012 summer games in London.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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