Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 13 February 2010

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"Sven who?"

Sven-Goran Eriksson has admitted that he felt he had been "conned" during his bizarre seven months at Notts County.

"This guy came up to me in the pub one night and told me that the next big club in world football was going to be Notts County and I was the man who could make that happen. Naturally I believed him. He told me to sign Sol Campbell and build my team around him. I even bought a second hand Ford Cortina off him. I've been so stupid. This is my biggest mistake."

After making the last remark he was reminded about Ulrikka, that secretary and the appointment of Steve McLaren as his number two. He changed his statement to "I've fucked it up again!"

Notts County were quick to lay the blame at Sven's door. "Look, all I said was 'We wear black and white like Juventus, do you fancy a job and it's a nice earner all round. Would I lie to you?" said Jim Spiv, Chairman of Notts County.

Sven is now seeking employment again and the offers are said to be "flooding in". Droitwich Athletic Sunday 3rd XI have already approached Sven with an attractive offer to manage Droitwich's next 'big thing'. He is yet to confirm his appointment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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