Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Violence, Chess

Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for Violence Mars Chess Match
Louts

Anyone who thinks chess fans are educated geeks in tweed suits who sit crosss-legged with their arms folded whilst a match is going on, is sadly mistaken it seems, after the latest in a spate of violent incidents left a chessboard overturned.

Supporters of Donald 'Slugger' Skoob, or the 'Burnley Bomber' as he is known around some parts of Burnley, caused havoc when they became somewhat overzealous after the apparent 'abandonment' of his grudge match against arch-rival Moys Kenwood, who had won every one of the pair's previous encounters.

'Slugger' whipped his supporters up into a frenzy during the online game, but, after making a series of schoolboy errors and allowing Kenwood back into a bout he had looked destined to lose, many of them became irritable, and started to get shirty. One kicked his dog, whilst another scolded his wife, after she told him that he was nothing but a time-waster for endlessly poring over the pages of satirical news website TheSpoof.com.

Across the other side of the world, in Bangkok, Thailand, home of the shy and retiring Kenwood, the scene couldn't have been more different. In a quiet and restrained manner, the masquerading English teacher put the kettle on to make a cup of tea, and fondled a pawn lovingly before launching it against the wall, and kicking the chessboard off the table and onto the floor, stamping on the pieces as they fell.

The engrossing and exciting match is, as yet, unresolved, and the moves thus far can be viewed by clicking into The Chess Board thread in the discussion forum at the site.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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