Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 24 February 2010

image for Rio Ferdinand Loses England Captain's Armband
The type of 'armbands' he should be wearing

Rio Ferdinand, the Manchester United defender who recently found himself the unwitting recipient of John Terry's misfortune when the Chelsea star was relieved of the England team captaincy, himself had the misfortune to lose the armband on Sunday - but all ended well.

Ferdinand, IQ 38, had been paying a visit to an unnamed United team-mate's house, but when the player's wife told Rio that her husbacnd was out, the player decided to 'wait for him', and went inside.

What happened next is not known, but what is known, is that the armband - being worn by Ferdinand on the outside of his mohair suit - became 'dislodged' and misplaced, although he did not realise until he arrived back home some hours later.

A frantic search of his car failed to locate the armband, and it was only when he retraced his steps that the England star found it - under the bed of his 'host', wrapped in a pair of suspenders.

Said a relieved Rio:

"Ar fort ar wuz in trabble again framinit!"

Ferdinand, failed to turn up for a drugs test in 2008, something for which he should have been given a different type of 'armbands'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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