England manager Fabio Capello has dumped John Terry because of his recent antics and now is searching for a suitable replacement.
"Gay as you Play" football magazine has offered Fabio some advice and offered one of their star players to captain England in the future. The man they've suggested plays for FC Homos Liberales in the Gay league at Gay Meadow in Shropshire.
He is an excellent player, loves giving "Head" and dribbles like Maradona at the sight of hairy mens buttocks.
His name is Julian Buttport-Gendabenda and is half-Asian.
Fabio may wish to considering hiring him as captain because of all of the sex-scandals surrounding the England players, whereas a gay captain would be an example to his sex-hungry super-stars as gays never want sex, they just want equal opportunities (cough, cough!).
Julian is actually a brilliant footy player but tends to not enjoy sliding tackles, messing up his hair and muddy shirts, rather poofy!
Fabio shouldn't mind that, he's Italian!
Now that "Horny Terry" has been dumped the way is open for the first gay to captain England, we've had the first black Captain and in todays world, why not a gay one?!
Fabio: "I might make 'im captain but not play 'im, jus' let 'im loose in the showers and scare the shit out of the boyz, that'll teach em, horny bastards!"