Written by Jaggedone

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Topics: Tennis, Andy Murray

Friday, 29 January 2010

image for Andy Murray orders bagpipes and drums too upset Swiss precision!
Federer has protested to the ATP after hearing Murray's mum is singing "Scotland The Brave", nobody should suff

Sunday's Aussie open final promises to be a loud affair as Andy Murray hopes to stuff a "haggis" in Federer's Swiss precision machine (Rolex).

Murray will try anything possible to upset the Swiss and has ordered 50 tartan dressed in kilts, bagpipe-drum playing soldiers from the Black-Watch.

He's even called up Fred Perry's ghost via an Aborigine medium unfortunately, Fred's ghost was too busy haunting Tim Henman.

Scotland and Britain are desperate to put Fred Perry's ghost to rest and win a male Grand Slam after 74 years.

There is a slight problem, Federer is determined to smack Andy's buttocks with a Swiss Cow bell and send him home as a loser.

Andy's mum is having none of this and is supporting the Blackwatch guards with a hefty rendition of "Scotland The Brave"!

When Federer heard this he immediatley protested to the ATP quoting: "I can take bagpipes, drums, haggis, even a tipple of The Famous Grouse, but Andy's mum singing, that's totally unfair, below the belt, worse than Serena grunting and just not tennis old bean!"

Andy's mum has been offered two options, stay away or wear a Hannibal Lector mask throughout the final!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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