Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 26 January 2010

image for Brett Favre Changes Mind About Retirement Six Times During Press Conference
Will he or won't he pitch the pigskin next season?

Brett Favre stood at a podium at the Minnesota Vikings headquarters and took questions from reporters after his choking performance Sunday against the New Orleans Saints. Favre threw more interceptions in that game than the Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo had thrown against his team the week before.

When asked the question on everyone's mind: would Favre retire or return for the next season, Brett seemed to be of two minds.

"First off," he said, "I'd like to put everyone's mind at ease and say that I'll be back for next season as the quarterback for the Vikings."

"This retirement has been a long time coming and I hope that I have showed everyone that I am still a winner and am happy to end my career as a division champion who played in a conference championship game."

"I hope next year that I can take us all the way to the Super Bowl....as I sit in my easy chair and spend much needed time with my family and let my body heal."

"I can't wait to put on the pads in Summer Camp again and get ready for next season, while I spend my time on my boat on the lake catching my family a mess of trout."

When asked by reporters to please clarify his statements and say whether or not he was coming back next year, Favre shook his head in frustration, walked out, and mumbled "you guys just don't understand English."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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