Karen Brady, recently installed as CEO at beleagured premiership side West Ham, has announced that the club will change their name in the next two years.
"We hope to be playing at the Olympic stadium in Stratford so we feel a name change is appropriate. We want the name to reflect our new surroundings. The club will be known as Shithole United FC".
Supporters were outraged. Tony Thug of East Ham said "Cor blimey guv' I nearly fell dahn me apples'n'pears. I 'ad to use the dog'n'bone to tell me mates dahn the rub a dub." Meanwhile 'celebrity' supporter Russell Brand said "My little clubby wubby should not change it's namey wamey." Obviously one of these supporters was talking bollocks. The other was a genuine cockney from the East End of Lahndan Tahn, guv.
Locals in Stratford were said to be concerned. Since when has anybody given a shit about them?