Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Ashley Cole

Monday, 25 January 2010

image for Ashley Cole In Botox Injection Riddle
Cole: Has the surgery gone wrong?

Chelsea left back Ashley Cole today denied that he has had a botox injection. Fans at Stamford Bridge first began to suspect that he may have indulged in a spot of Botox therapy when he bent over to tie his bootlaces. "His arse was fucking enormous!" said Charlie O'Hooligan, a lifelong Chelsea supporter. "He must have had a Botox job up the arse. There is no other possible explanation."

Cole strongly denied having Botox bum treatment. In a statement issued through his agent he said "I have not had Botox on my bum. I have been on a new training regime to strengthen my bum. Ever since Cheryl came home with that strap on I have felt a bit tender in that area. I have decided it is time to tone up."

Just before the 1990 world cup Gary Lineker had surgery on his ears in a bid to resemble the FA Cup. Gazza famously had a boob job to make him look more of a tit. Now Cole appears to have had implants in his arse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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